Lilac Wine
by sa-shii-mi
Summary: "Sometimes he reminds me of the sun, warm and shining, compelling everybody to turn around him. And during those times, I can't help but fearing that I might be the fucking idiot Icarus who'll finish up drowning in the sea with no one to help him." One-shot, MA!, MalexMale, GrimmjowxIchigo, completely OOC and AU. Angst, Hurt/Comfort and Romance. Inspired by Jeff Buckley songs.


**A/N: This was inspired by several Jeff Buckley songs. I had this One-shot on my mind and couldn't do anything as long as it wasn't out of my system. Uhm, like always, OOC and AU, no big surprise. MATURE CONTENT too!**

**(BTW FF seems to be eating up words sometimes and it's not beta-ed so help me.)**

**_Edit: I added a few sentences in the end since it seemed confusing to some people. :)_ **

**REVIEWS are always ****WELCOME!**

**Enjoy!**

**Lilac Wine**

The bittersweet taste slowly invades my mouth and throat before the cool smooth surface leaves my lips. As it invades my senses, a warm feeling settles in my whole body. I know I should stop already, but I can't. The feeling is addictive and paradoxically keeps me from leaving the ground. My fingertips are the first to tingle when a fuzzy sensation grows in them before going up like thick yet soft lianas, securely wrapping around my limbs. Finally, the non-existing plant reaches my head and a flower blooms, filling my mind with so much delight that I have to close my eyes and let out a deep breath.

Suddenly, a fresh breeze hits my face and is immediately followed by soft hands that retrace the contours of my traits slowly. The touch is feather-light and barely perceptible but I _know _it's there. I don't flinch away, but that's no surprise because I stopped hating his loving, caring contact since long. I have become addicted to it more and more with every passing day. These days, even more. Who knows why?

The digits linger on my lips before trailing down my chin and neck to finally stop at the place where my heart is. The latter starts beating loudly and with renewed force as if to say "Look, I'm still living and will always be yours!". As cheesy as it sounds, it'd be the truth. And I already told him that. Not too many times though. Regret fills my chest and a pain stabs at my chest. I should have told him more often in the past three years.

A weight settles on my lap. It's so warm and familiar. Of course. It's been the same for all these years. Legs wrap around my own and my hands blindly reach for hips.

I faintly remember that I intended to tell him off because I'm pissed off by his behavior nowadays. After all, he once again disappeared before I woke up this morning. I'm not known for my patience however, I keep forgiving him even though it's been this way for four months already. Guess that brat is really important to me. So important that I'll gladly forget about him leaving me alone in bed with a badass hangover to nurse after we fucked all night.

"I can see that you already started without me, Grimmjow.", he chuckles in my ear; his low and sweet voice makes me shiver in pleasure. Oh, how I love that voice, promising so many delightful and sinful things.

His fingers move back to my scalp, massage it leisurely as he lightly caresses my face with his lips.

A growl escapes my throat. God, if there are two things that'll always make me horny, it's wine and him. Their texture, their taste on my tongue, the way they fill my system with pleasure, everything about them drives me mad with desire. So, I don't think I need to tell you the effects of the combination on my body.

"What I can see is that you only come when I'm already through with half a bottle," I grumble.

It was supposed to sound menacing but the wine and his magic hands that are unknotting all the tension on my shoulders are making me feel too relaxed to even care. Also, his enticing sweet scent is creating another tension, but in the lower part of my body.

I finally open my eyes, albeit lust keeps them from opening fully as he rubs gentle circles on my chest. My heart skips a beat as I look at him. His orange hair is glowing despite the lack of light on the balcony. His tan skin radiates more light than the street lamps even though it's already past midnight. Sometimes he reminds me of the sun, warm and shining, compelling everybody to turn around him. And during those times, I can't help but fearing that I might be the fucking idiot Icarus who'll finish up drowning in the sea with no one to help him.

As if he'd read my mind, Ichigo kisses me lightly while whispering my name lovingly. I focus back on him – head buzzing – and can't stop my eyes from taking in every little detail. His straight nose which is upturned at the tip and covered with light freckles, as well as his high cheekbones and chiseled jaw are still marked by his youth - as he's only 24 and therefore 5 years younger than me. His peachy lips that often turn in a smile reserved only for me and his family but that can as well express the most horrible things during a fight. The memories of fights leave a nasty taste in my mouth but quickly evaporate when my gaze meets his own.

It may sound cliché and terrifyingly out of character for me but Ichigo's eyes are probably the one thing that kept me with him in the first place. Of course, his personality and looks too, but waking up every morning to see which color his eyes would be is definitely something to look forward to. Some days, they are a deep brown, some days a light honey and caramel brown, and sometimes they are a swirling mixture of all warm colors that could possibly exist. Not to mention how they could express his emotions strongly without him even trying. His orbs are so interesting that they tamed the former womanizing man-whore I was before meeting the younger man.

His long, thick eyelashes brush against my own when he pulls me in for a kiss. His hands grab the sides of my head with urgency, as if he was scared of losing me. Funny, because that's what I've been feeling every morning when he'd disappear without an explanation. Nasty habit he developed over the last four months. Maybe I should teach him a lesson he won't forget (in a good way)? But not tonight.

I kiss back with force; however the wine makes my motions slower, more languid and sensual. Our lips meet again and again and I start feeling need for more growing in my chest and crotch. My tongue swipes over his bottom lip and he gladly offers me entrance to his hot cavern. At first, our wet muscles just press against each other before starting a dance of sorts. Wet sounds, gasps and heated groans fill the silent night.

I let my hands wander aimlessly over his toned back before slipping under his light button-up. He shivers at the feeling of my rough skin against his baby skin. I have to try hard not to smirk at his sensitivity – even after all those years – and start gliding down his spine. He arches his back yet leans into the touch. When my hands grab his delicious butt, he lets out a low moan, but refuses to interrupt our kiss. Not that I mind. His sweet taste – it reminds me of honey – added up to the fading taste of wine and my lover's rocking hips against my clothed erection are starting to drive me crazy. I feel so hot and so does my Strawberry.

The slow kiss turned in a passionate tango long ago and our breaths are getting shorter and quicker. I break the contact – earning a heated look from those orange-tinted brown pools – but I really need to take in some fresh air. Ichigo's long fingers are entangled in my hair and pull at it to urge me back to him. Smirking, I say in a low growl:

"Someone's eager."

This earns me a half-hearted scowl followed by a panting "Shut up, Grimm." and another tug at my blue locks. I have to chuckle, but happily return to the sweet source of nectar that is my boyfriend's mouth. As he tilts his head to deepen the kiss even more, Ichigo's lithe chest pressed against mine, making us moan at the friction. I open my eyes and take in his slight blush, which makes my heart stutter every time. It's really incredible how addicted and stupid the Strawberry made me and how he managed to keep me for so long. Most of the time, I have too much pride to admit it, but when it's just us, alone in the deepest night, I don't really care. I just want to show him how much I love him and want to make him unravel in delight.

When he decides to unbutton my shirt with his fingers – shaking with lust – I grab his butt and stand up, a bit teetering from the amount of wine I consumed before he came, and walk back into our flat, not even caring to close the glass door that leads to the balcony. He yelps in surprise before his legs tighten around my waist in order to keep him up. We don't break the kiss, and now, the moans and groans as well as the ever growing want pooling in our lower guts fill the warm room.

I swiftly avoid obstacles such as plants – Before you ask, it was Ichigo who insisted having them in the flat, okay? – and piles of dirty clothes as I carry him to our bedroom. After a few moments, we arrive and I bend down, still grabbing his hips and let us lie on the bed. Ichi still has his arms around my neck and his legs tightly wrapped around my body but as one hand supports me, my other hand moves down his chest and legs to detach him from my built. Finally, he lets go and resumes to unbuttoning my shirt. I copy his movements while nipping and biting the tender skin of his neck. This makes him moan louder.

"Grimm… Take that damn shirt off…" he pants, a frown marring his handsome face. Again, his impatience forces a breathy chuckle from my lips as I reply:

"Aye, Capt'n." I sit up and peel my shirt off my ripped built - Yes, I have a fucking nice body and am very proud of it, thank you very much – discarding the cloth on the floor.

His smoldering gaze racking over my naked torso as well as the light breeze that reaches me from outside make my skin prickle. My smirk grows larger as a pout forms on Ichigo's lips. The kid can be so impatient sometimes. Usually I'd give in and ravage him, make him scream his pleasure out, but on special occasions, I liked to make the bliss last.

I bend down to take off his shirt and he eagerly helps me. The item joins the other one on the ground, forgotten, and our heated skins make contact. As I lie down on him, I can feel his strong heartbeat quickening. The healthy heart makes mine respond, and it seems that they synchronize after a while. I stare into his endless brown eyes, swirling like lava made of lust, love and need before pressing my parted lips against his once again. But as my mouth trails down his long neck and my teeth rake over the exposed skin, making him groan and buck his hips, my eyes land on something that's standing right beside me, on the bed stand.

Oh, the ideas it brings up in my mind make the erection in my already too tight jeans swell up even more. I bite down on the tender skin of my redheaded lover's throat and suck on it. Ichigo arches his back and lifts his chin higher to expose more of that place. My tongue slowly drags over the offered expanse of honey flavored skin. But before he can even ask me for more, I place a finger on his parted lips, feeling the hot pants on my digit, and say in a deep growl I know the brat loves:

"Sssh… let me. I have a nice surprise for you."

Apparently, my eyes gave away the promise of lots of pleasure as he shudders but stops moving. I smirk and kiss him languidly to reward him for his obedience.

"Good kitty." I murmur in his ear. He lets out a whine but stays still as I reach for the item that I had in mind.

When he sees the already half-consumed bottle of wine in my hands, the younger man's orange eyebrows frown in confusion.

"Why is there a bottle of wine on the night table?" he asks. Not wanting to ruin the mood, and because the buzz the red liquid I'd drank before wouldn't allow me to remember why, I just shrug and order:

"Kitten, take off those pants."

Confused but curious nonetheless, my sweet Berry strips and lays back with only his black boxers wrapped around his visible arousal. My own desire flares at the enticing side of him biting down on his bottom lip. His orange mane falls in his eyes but I can see the silent plea to 'hurry the fuck up' they behold, if his extended arms aren't an indication already.

I smirk as one of my hands pins down his wrists over his head. He barely struggles, too much preoccupied with the lust streaming in his blood, however, his eyes follow the movements I make closely. My teeth clamp down on the cork of the bottle and with a jerk of my head, it leaves the dark green glass with an audible 'pop'. The wine in the bottle sloshes against the glass walls of the container before I take a swig. I don't swallow it though.

My upper body bends down slowly and I press my closed mouth against Ichigo's parted one. He lifts a bit his head and starts licking the red alcohol that's dripping of my lips. His skilled tongue darts around, collecting every single drop I offer him before catching my muscle. The taste of wine and my lover's cavern make my already excited blood sing. I really want to jump him on the spot, yet contain my primal needs because today (it's already past midnight) is his birthday. Therefore, I want to make it a night worth remembering.

Again, I sit up, taking in the sight of my handsome boyfriend pleading for more. He tries to free his wrists from my iron grip but fails to do so. He settles for a frustrated growl and a glare. My other hand, that holds the bottle, tilts a little bit but not enough to let wine out.

"Now, now, kitten, if I were you, I wouldn't move too much. We don't want the wine to stain the bed sheets, do we?" I tease him.

"Who cares about the fucking sheets, Grimmjow?! Now hurry up before I kick you in the face, you fucking bully," he threatens me.

I silently laugh, shaking my head in disbelief at my fiery lover's attics, before tilting the bottle a bit more. A trickle of deep red liquid escapes from the nozzle to land on the naked, sun-kissed chest. A gasp emanates from the now 25 years old male as the cold liquid touches his tones pectorals. I watch the sweet drink flow down his abs, the wine like a river in the dips and lines of his muscles, before going down to lick it slowly. I hum in delight and the redhead moans while staring at me.

Inch by inch, I cover his chest with wine, licking it up before it can drip on the white sheets. Ichigo starts trembling and whines for release. I refuse to give him what he wants though. If I can ignore my fucking straining cock for a bit, so can he, right?

A drop of wine lands on one of his caramel colored nipples and my tongue passes over the small perky mount to catch it. I can feel my boyfriend arch his back more, encouraging me to continue. I gladly oblige and soon, Ichigo is moaning even louder as my teeth capture one of his nipples and the other – having set down the bottle on the night stand – pinches its twin.

Being free again, his hands grub themselves in my blue hair and tug at it, making me groan.

My dear kitten's hips thrust up and force mine to do the same. The friction drives us both mad and honestly, even if we did this countless times, I can say that I'll never grow tired of having sex – making love to be honest and corny – with the hot-tempered Ichigo Kurosaki.

I go back to his mouth, leaving bites and kisses on my wake, and kiss him fully. Our lips barely touch as our tongues entangle. I can feel precum leak in my boxers and just when I decide to stop groping the firm boxer-clad ass and get rid of my annoying jeans, tan hands shot down and do the work for me. Shaky hands quickly undo my belt and button before unzipping the trousers. As the constriction lessens, I let out a sigh of relief. Kicking the pants away with practiced ease, I find myself in the same state as Ichigo. The latter surprises me by pulling my silken underwear down.

As I move to take if of completely, long fingers grasp my rock-hard boner, making me moan deeply. My head falls back and I have to close my eyes because of the overwhelming pleasure his magic touch and the wine give me. As I'm sitting upright on my knees, he bends down and licks away a bead of precum that had leaked out of the slit of my cock. I have to bite down on my lip to keep the sounds emanating from my throat at bay.

All of a sudden, before he can take me in his mouth, I muster up the will to push him away from me and back against the mattress. He protests and moans that he wants to taste me more but with a warning glare, I silence his complaints.

When I see that he promises to behave, I smirk at him, kiss him on his forehead, then on his pouting lips before going down his toned form. I finally reach the fine trail of orange hair that leads to something still hidden under black cloth. I look at him straight in the eyes and bite down on the border of the boxers, dragging them down and away from his straining arousal. Caramel eyes stare back at me, barely containing the pleasure and want they withhold, and close when my breath fans over his freed penis. One of my hands presses against his tight so that his legs spread while my other hand squeezes the base of his boner. He moans and bucks into my palm, wanting to create more friction. Let me tell you, he looks absolutely ravishing with that blush on the bridge of his nose, his eyes staring at me and groans and gasps spilling out of his wet lips. Teal eyes never leave honey brown ones as I engulf his hard and pulsating member, taking inch after inch, until my nose reaches orange curls. Needless to say, Ichigo is reduced to a lust crazed creature in the blink of an eye. My hands have to pin down his hips so that he won't choke me with his dick.

"Grimmjow, please, oh my god, Grimm…" he pants. His fingers once again entangle in my blue locks but instead of tugging, he's trying to push himself deeper into my throat. I resister nevertheless – because I'm stronger than the brat – and slowly drag my tongue across the underside of his cock. As I let it leave my mouth, the cold air from outside brushes against it and makes my Japanese lover shudder.

I know that I'm at the breaching point of my self-control – if my weeping dick is anything to go by with – so I press three fingers in my boyfriend's mouth where they are bitten and slickened with saliva. When I deem them wet enough, I take them out, earning a last teasing bite of my kitten and press them against his tight entrance. I can feel him slightly jump from the touch, which is kind of amazing since we've done this so many times. As one digit enters him slowly, he frowns a bit and relaxes to make it easier for later. I take his length in my mouth again, bobbing my head and remembering all the small sensitive spots that make him go crazy.

He starts shivering for waves of pleasure course through his body thanks to my amazing skills. I can feel him twitch around my fingers as the third one joins the other two and after a few thrusts, he's pushed over the edge. He moans my name, not even trying to keep his voice low anymore, but he can't see me.

After a few gulps and pants, he cracks his eyes open. They are warm and glazed over because of his recent orgasm. But there's still this fire flickering in those brown pools that won't be extinguished with just one round.

I settle between his legs and put his long tan legs on my shoulder before bending down to kiss him slowly. As our cocks rub together, I let out a hiss and can feel his own length turning hard again, poking against my lower abdomen. We make out of few more moments before I enter him slowly, waiting for him to adjust and relax a bit. It's strange how he's still this tight after all this time. Not that I'm complaining though.

I feel my senses go overdrive and have to shut my eyes to keep from exploding as his warm insides wrap around my length. I want to focus on him tonight, since it's his night. My teeth rake over his neck and kiss marks start blooming everywhere I bite and suck. Ichigo's hands grip my thick arms, and not too soon he urges me to move. I gladly oblige and start thrusting in the welcoming yet burning entrance he offers me; With every movement, droplets of sweat leave my forehead and hair only to land on my lover's chest. The latter doesn't even notice it, too lost in pleasure as he yells my name over and over again, commanding me to go faster and harder. And I execute his orders.

After a few rounds, I feel as if no air actually reaches my lungs anymore. I'm utterly exhausted and I know that my redheaded lover is in a similar state. His orange locks are plastered to his face and his mouth's wide open, letting out noises of untamed pleasure. Those beautiful eyes are completely lost to the world, at least this one. After climaxing a last time, I collapse on him, not caring if his mess now coats not only his abs and chest but also mine. My sweet boyfriend mewls at the loss when I pull out of him and immediately presses himself to my chest. I wrap an arm over his side and manage to somehow pull the entangled covers on our sweat and cum covered bodies.

Even though he's about to pass out from the huge exertion, Berry looks at me, his eyes and face soft and full of love.

"I love you," he whispers to me, his fingers tracing over my features softly.

I know he does. But him saying it makes my heart clench painfully, but the wine and love-making make it impossible for me to remember; My voice is heavy with emotion as I reply. I feel a knot tie in my throat:

"I love you too, Ichigo, more than anything in the world."

He smiles at me before saying:

"I'll never leave you, Grimm. I love you."

And with his eyes closes as he drifts into the world of dreams. Not two seconds later, I follow him in the welcome embrace of sleep.

The next morning, the shrieking sound of my alarm wakes me up.

The sky is already blue, even though it's only 6 o'clock in the morning. But we're in July, so it's not really a surprise.

I feel like my head is going to split in two because of the shrill, piercing sound of the alarm so I hit the off-button with more force than I should.

I look around, finding the bed empty, except for my own person. Sorrow and unequaled pain settles in my chest as reality hits me. My eyes start prickling and my throat twitches from unreleased sobs. I wonder what the former Grimmjow would have said if he'd seen what kind of man he'd become.

The bed sheets shuffle as I sit at the edge of the bed. My feet touch the soft carpet and my littered clothes;

I try to stand up, a hand pressed against my forehead to somehow control the huge hangover I am nursing. I stumble to the kitchen, turn on the radio to fill the deafening silence that invades this flat every fucking morning.

After a few pills of medicine and a shower, I dress for work and prepare myself my breakfast, which consists of coffee. I know it's not healthy to skip, and Ichi would definitely not be thrilled to hear about it, but honestly, I could care less.

I'm not hungry. It's as if sorrow, pain and loss have dug a hole through my stomach. The only things that still manage to stay in my body are wine and a few essential foods. But that's all.

I slip into my shoes and walk through the messy apartment. After a few steps, I stop in front of a black, framed picture and kiss the cool surface. IIt's one of the rare pictures where Ichigo is smiling. They chose it because this is how they remember him. I lean back and turn around after bowing a last time.

Then I reach for the door handle and leave the place that reminds me so many things I don't want to remember yet cling onto dearly.

Like every morning, tears escaped from my eyes while a last thought crosses my mind before I return to being the cool, emotionless monster they all think I am.

"_You said you'd never leave me, liar."_

**A/N:**

**Siiiigh, this is my first attempt at a GrimmIchi smut scene as well as at narrating in the 1****st**** person. Sorry if I messed up. And the fluff and OOC are really strong, hope you didn't mind it too much;**

**PLEASE TELL ME YOUR OPINION IN A REVIEW! EVEN ANONYMOUS REVIEWS ARE WELCOME! **

**Thanks for reading!**

**(And here I am, crying for the loss Grimmjow endured in this AU… sob.) **

**NOW REVIEW! Please…**


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